Imaginary Vampire Slayer

I had this dream that I was married to something that was sort of like Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and we were wandering around a college campus that had a lot of elevators and bathrooms in it.  I was telling my Aunt Sue about how I was so glad this wasn’t a dream, because I hated those dreams where I was in school and I didn’t know where my classes were or I hadn’t studied for a test, but I knew where the water fountain was, except suddenly the hallway we were walking through wasn’t the same hallway anymore, and the water fountain wasn’t underneath the toothpick airplane sculptures like it used to be.  Then I was in the bathroom, and Spike had told me I was a vampire slayer, so all the women in the bathroom gave me pencils since I’d lost my wooden stake.  Then I couldn’t tell the difference between real vampires and real people, so I just closed my eyes and started doing ninja moves with my pencils slicing through the air, yelling, “Heeee-yah!” and even though I didn’t hit anything, I convinced myself I’d just taken out all the female vamps.  Then I wandered past an electronics store, and all the boy vamps were on the screens, so I slashed the screens with my pencil (they were thin screens, made out of paper or something), and then I felt dumb for battling more imaginary vampires and I ran away before the store owner knew I was the one who slashed his screens.  But I still managed to convince myself I’d taken out all the vamps.

Then the mini-ninja woke up, having wet the bed, and he started crying, which woke me up, and I have no idea what happened to me being an imaginary vampire slayer after that.


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