Archive for Hair and Makeup

I am not me

I dreamed I was a baby shark and my dad was protecting me from twenty other fish who were attacking us by eating them, and he told me to swim away and hide but instead I spit on the fish he was eating.

Then I dreamed I was a contestant in a beauty pageant and we got to ride on Sea-Doos in the swimming pool, and when my cousin and I went to pick up the cover models, they started chasing us, so we had to hide in the mall.

Then I dreamed I was a muppet mouse, and three of my muppet-mouse friends touched the wall and it vibrated and melted away to reveal train tracks with muppet mouse-sized train cars, and my scientist put me and the other muppet mice on Thomas and Cars train cars to see how far we could go, then to see who could get out first to go to the cat.  (Yes, cat.  Like kitty-cat.  Like muppet mouse suicide.)  One of my little muppet mouse buddies cheated by renumbering himself and he got released first, though it bothered me that he was smart enough to count.  I, on the other hand, was smart enough to not want to go to the cat.

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Prom Hair

I dreamed that the ninja-spouse took me to make an appointment to get my hair cut, but since it was prom season, we ended up with an appointment for Fourth of July, and we had dinner and a show instead.  We went to this local restaurant that serves amazing food for the podunk town we live in, but instead of just getting the fantastic grouper dish, we had to move out of the way as the owners and crew sand and danced all over the restaurant.

Then I was back in high school.  Again.  And I was helping my big daddy investigate the bad smoothie water, since somebody was poisoning it.  Also, some hick locals were burying stolen treasure in their basement but we had to solve the water problem before Big Daddy wanted to hear about it.

Then I couldn’t get a hair appointment again, so I went back to the hoe-down at the high school, where everyone snubbed me but I couldn’t figure out why.  The prom queen started a fight with me while a yearbook photographer was watching, so I started throwing fake punches and then posing as if I were being attacked when the photographer took the picture.

Then my RWA chaptermates flagged me down from their little corner in the cafeteria tent, and it seemed prudent to go hang out with people who actually liked me.

Disney World Mall, Wedding Edition

Just before we left for Disney World, I had some Disney World Dreams.  Like this one.

I dreamed I was going to my friend Joe’s wedding with my mom at the Disney World Mall, except when it was time for the wedding to start, my friend Ryan stepped in and said he wanted to get married, so he stole Joe’s bride and got married instead.  The wedding took place at the top of this huge tower with its beams exposed and I could grab the cable and feel the building swaying, which was remarkable since Ryan, the new groom, was afraid of heights.  After the wedding, Ryan and Joe sat down at opposite ends of a mine train ride that took us through wall-doors toward our rooms in the hotel, except every time we got close to somebody’s room, whichever groom was at the opposite end of the mine train flipped a switch so we went back the way we came and away from the room.

Then I asked my mom if she wanted to go get burgers at Joe Pocket’s (which is my subconscious’s combination of two of my favorite food places in Pensacola, even though I’ve never had a burger at either place), because I knew Joe Pocket’s served the best burgers in the world and that my mom loved them, but it was 6:15 and Joe Pocket’s closed at 6, so we went shopping for makeup instead.  Then we had the hamburger conversation two more times, once at 6:17 and once at 6:20, before I realized I was dreaming and woke up at 6:21.