Archive for Hollywood

Got My Naked On

I dreamed I was back in high school and all the cool kids convinced me we were having a “Go To School Naked Day,” so I went to school naked. Then Nathan Fillion was my homeroom teacher and he had to explain to me that it was inappropriate to be naked at school. Also, the popular kids didn’t get naked, damn them.

Can You Feel The Weirdness Tonight?

I dreamed I was back in high school, except it looked more like college, except with a lot more fountains and flowers and buildings I didn’t recognize and couldn’t find my way around. I was hanging out with my friends, dancing and singing with them on the roof, when there was a prison break on campus and all the gang thugs escaped. First we fought, then we danced and sang together, then we all decided to go have lunch at the cafeteria in the library. I needed to get to my psychology class because we had a test on the first day of classes, but I forgot where my class was, and before I got there, the zoo asked for my help to summon the Lion King’s girlfriend. So I learned how to spin the magic wheel in the basement to call Nala, and then the entire Lion King cast was there, and Simba and Nala were chasing each other and chasing me, but they were friendly and eventually they left for their parade. Then I realized I had no idea where my bag and books and schedule were, and we suspected the janitor had thrown them away because they didn’t really fit in my bag, and I’d emptied it at lunch anyway. But then the ninja-spouse pointed out we could just go to the main office, get me a pass for my test and a new copy of my schedule, and everything would be fine.

Super-Ninja

I dreamed I was Superman and Lois’s sidekick (the Dean Cain/Teri Hatcher combo) and when I stopped at my house to make coffee for the mini-ninja, this pint-sized thug broke into my house and I had to go all ninja on his ass.  (I did it in style this time, leaping up and holding my body horizontal, Matrix-style, while delivering ninja kicks and punches to his face.)  When the midget finally ran away, I realized his dog had popped my cat’s front leg off, so I had to suspend ninja operations to call the vet.  But my cat is tough – she didn’t seem to notice her leg was missing.  Technically, though, I guess it wasn’t missing, since I had it to take the to vet so it could get reattached.  Except the vet wouldn’t call me back.

Gunslinging Ninjas and Touchdown Jesus

I dreamed on was on the NCIS crew (with Gibbs, not with Chris O’Donnell), and we had to ride a falling elevator to the bottom of a building where we were fixing up an old school bus.  My team was half NCIS, half old high school classmates.  Then the bad guys came in, and they were all old high school classmates too.  When they tried to shoot at my team, I was the only one who could fire back, but all I had was a revolver, so while my aim was deadly (except for the bullets that evaporated on contact), it took me a while to reload.  Finally we took care of the bad guys, and I had to go live with my parents as part of the witness protection program.  We took the bus past the burnt-out statue of Touchdown Jesus on the way there, and most of my family was on the bus.  (Don’t worry – it was a roomy bus.)